Over the weekend I didn't do a whole lot, at least I don't feel like I did a whole lot. First off, it was raining on and off pretty much all weekend, which its not bad in itself, in fact its great writing time but since I wasn't planning on writing a whole lot since the kids came back home Friday from their dads home, it kind of threw a wrench on ALL my plans. It started Friday evening, I wanted to take them to the movies, but the movie, which was a children's movie, wasn't going to play until 10:45 pm. (who does that? my 7 year old cant stay up that late!) so we squashed that plan, instead, I rented movies and bought pizza.
Saturday morning my daughter wakes up with a fever, so she couldn't attend her soccer match. And then it started to rain in the afternoon, and since she was already sick I didn't want to take her out to get groceries. And of course, the park plan for the evening was out of the question (this was my time to squeeze in my writing, hoping to find inspiration in the sunset) so that didn't happen. At this point my brain was just trying to adjust to the fact that all my plans had changed. Having ADD, I spent most of my day trying to take it easy instead but in the back of my head I just felt very unproductive, so instead I ended up doing some laundry.
Sunday morning we get up and start getting ready for church, but my little girl woke up with a fever, so instead of church I spent the morning in Urgent Care. Turns out, she has strep throat (I feel an itch on my throat just thinking about it...) then ran to the pharmacy to get antibiotics, and since I was already out and it wasn't raining I dragged her to the grocery store in her pajamas and bunny slippers and bought a few groceries. When we finally did get home, (spent half the day between doctors, pharmacy, and grocery store) I started lunch, then cleaning the kitchen, then off to do more laundry, and when I did sit down with hubby and write, my brain just couldn't find a place to start writing, let alone a quiet place at home...all three TVs were going at some point. (I need a woman cave..or a writing cave, or a fox hole..lol) Either way, in the end, the Dr said no school for my midget (my favorite nickname for her) and that meant no work for me. So here I am, Monday morning at home with a sick little girl, and a quiet home where I can finally collect my thoughts.
In retrospect, I enjoyed every minute with my children and husband while we watched movies and ate the yummiest pizza in town. I have to say that I have new found respect for Katy Perry, yes I said it. My daughter wanted to watch the movie/documentary and shes a nice weird girl whose heart was broken. Normally I cringe at her name, I have an issue with pop stars, but at least she doesn't cuss in her songs. I just wished my brain accepted change a little better, because not being able to do what was on my list gave me a feeling of restlessness, of no closure, like I have to do everything next weekend, throwing me off again. Maybe I'm a little OCD...okay not maybe. Its just that as a mother and leader of this team there are things that need to be done otherwise things do not run smoothly all week. Its like a little dark cloud following me around, kicking all the way until next weekend. Writing makes it all better, and thank you for taking the time to read my blog, wont you make a comment or give me an encouraging word if you would like for me to write about something in particular? I love a good soapbox. :)
So where is God in all of this? well he was everywhere of course! He is the wrench in my plans, His word says in Proverbs 16:9,
"
In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps."
During the week i couldn't WAIT for Friday 5pm, so that I could pick up my kids, and head home to rest with them. And yet, I had a long list of things I was going to do.Sooo, he brought a little rain, and made me stay home to take care of a sick little girl. Perhaps, if it was a clear day, I would have overseen my daughter being sick, perhaps I would have been going and going and going, like I usually do, instead of resting.And gotten sick myself? No, I don't believe God made my daughter sick, I do think he allowed it. Perhaps if she didn't get sick this time around her immune system wouldn't be strong enough for the next virus down the road. I don't know the answer to all these little things God allows to happen in our lives, but I do know, in his infinite wisdom and love he allows some things that seem like bad things to happen so that he teaches or prevents us from something along the way. My favorite verse says in Romans 8:28,
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"
I'm going to get sidetracked for a just a moment:
how do you know if you've been called according to his purpose? We all have, the question is, will you believe and accept the bible as truth for you here and now? if you do, then all you have to do is believe and confess with your mouth (say it out loud in your own words) that you believe Jesus is real and that He died for you on the cross for your sins. Its simple, God loves you that much, he made it easy for us to receive the gift of eternal life. (John 3:16, Romans 3:10, Romans 10:9)
Personally I am grateful that I can live in freedom knowing that even when MY plans don't come through, God always does. He has every day planned out for me, as long as Im willing to live in relationship with him, he has plans for me to succeed. Ill share one more word with you: Psalm 139:1-18
O
Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths,you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious tome are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
P.S don't forget to say hi on the comment section, I just want to know who is listening :) Thanks!
