"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13(NIV)







Sharing the mind God gave me through thoughts, wisdom, quests, adventures, revelations, hopes, dreams and more!



Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Q and A with Expressionist Painter Heather Dee Robertson - artnet Insights

Q and A with Expressionist Painter Heather Dee Robertson - artnet Insights

my sister inlaw Heatherdee robertson was interviewed about her paintings and her process and influence.

Moon Tricks

Moon Tricks

A friend of mine wrote this. and i loved it. It was like she was there when God was speaking to me as well....


"his sheep will recognize his voice indeed"

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Choosing to believe.

I admit today that i struggle with the act of tithing. I tithe every time i get paid and i choose to believe that i am going to reap benefits and that God is going to supply my needs. My family is one that lives to pay check to pay check. We try to save money but there is always some unexpected expense that robs us of saving anything before the week ends. We have a long list of things that we could stand to purchase like a new washer and dryer, a new stove, a new fridge etc. But instead the money is used little by little here and there. And its not like we go out and eat every night, in fact, i work full time and unlike most modern mothers, i cook a dinner 7 days a week. Of course the benefit of that is that we all get to sit down together as a family and talk about our day, but even then im so exhausted its hard for my brain to function much past "pass the salt please, and thats awesome baby!"

So yesterday i received my check and it was not too big, i am struggling with giving my tithe today because last week i had to borrow 30$ to make it through the week. Where was my financial blessing last week when i needed my tank filled? i make a budget every paycheck, but unfortunately you cant account for unexpected medical expenses that came up for me. Turns out I have high blood pressure issues...go figure?! might it have something to do with everyday life and responsibilities upon my head ive made my body freak out permanently? (i work out 5 days a week, 2 hours at a time, run 2 miles a day, and do weights as well)
Either way, that extra 30$ that i had put aside for gas went towards a copayment for the dr visit and 15 for the new medicine.

So here i stand with 100 something dollars that im supposed to give to my church and frankly i dont want to....when i did tithe, i did not have enough. Where was my sowing and reaping? But is tithing all about what God will compensate me with for doing the right thing? am i living by the spirit of the law or the letter of the law here? obviously its something that I AM not doing right...

There are people out there that some to the church with a need and because of my obedience to the Word they are able to get the help they need. I see so many people around me that DONT tithe and have all their needs met. I feel its unfair. I feel like doubting Thomas right about now...

I know God is real and i know God supplies my needs, im afraid to choose to NOT tithe this week and then not make it through the week anyway, and then also feel like i disobeyed God. I know God shines his light on the righteous and the unrighteous but i dont want to be like the Israelite's going around a mountain for 40 years! :(

The bottom line is i have to choose to have faith or not. I have to choose to obey or not. I have to choose to believe or not. i cant base this decision based on my reward of expecting to receive something from God. His Kingdom works the opposite of the World, we sow and then we reap, we dont reap and then if we have leftovers we sow. oy vey!


if you read this, please pray i have the faith to move into what God wants me to do, ask him to change my heart, and make it clear to understand. Tell him to help me stop being doubting thomas and help me stop looking at Southwood every morning and not feel jealous of their big spacious homes....lol!


In the end, i know God is going to see me through the doubt as he has seen me through many other things i have struggled with and have now, with his wisdom, grace and strength, have overcome. I can look back and see myself sweating over such a silly thing. Thank God he is great and wise.


Anyways, this was just me sharing the real me..any other doubting thomases out there?